Can Two People Who Don't Get Along Raise a Child Together?

One of the most amazing things I heard the Family Court say was "Joint Custody is not favored with parents who don't get along." This statement really had me in a state of confusion. Just wondering, how many people who get along get divorced? Isn't the fundamental reason people get a divorce is because they can no longer "get along"? Don't get me wrong, some people may get divorced over domestic violence, an affair, substance abuse, or a million other reasons. At the end of the day, it all stems from a breakdown in the relationship. I am divorced and my ex-husband and I have a great relationship. We are not the average divorced couple. I cannot tell you the number of times I have heard people say "I have never seen divorced people get along like you two." That is not the norm. People who can "get along" can usually work things out before ever getting to a trial. South Carolina Family Court orders these parents to mediation before a trial, and the attorneys push for a settlement. No one wants to go to trial. The day of the actual trial for my husband the judge took up 4 hours trying to have both parties mediate a solution. It just wasn't going to happen. So, the judge makes her ruling and she decides because they don't get along only one person should have total control over their daughter. Only one person should be able to have their child for the first day of school for her entire life. Only one parent should make decisions for the child. Only one parent should get to see their child 23 out of 31 days a month. Let me back up and say when I am hashing this out I am not talking about one parent who doesn't want to be involved. I am not talking about someone who is unfit or cannot provide for their child. What I am talking about here is a father with a nice home, a steady job, and someone who has always been involved with his child's life. On the other hand the mother who was awarded custody lives with her parents and cannot afford a place of her own. Oh, and if you were wondering from my first post she married the guy that lives in another state. He still lives there and she lives in South Carolina with her parents. That's a post for another day. Back to my original point, people get divorced because they don't get along. Giving one person all of the power in a situation when people don't get along doesn't help them to get along. It helps give one side ammunition against the other. Unfortunately, the ammunition in a case like this is a child. Children are used as weapons against their parents everyday! I wonder what one parent thinks they are showing their child when they have nothing but hatred for the other parent? Does that child not see the other parent in themselves? Do they wonder if their mom or dad hates them too? What I hear is that therapists say it isn't in a child's best interest two live in two homes and go back and forth. I want to ask, is going every other weekend not going back and forth? Is making a child a visitor in a parent's home really best? Is putting a child in the middle of a power struggle not going to harm the child? I am so confused how the law thinks it is in any child's best interest to alienate one parent. If you have ever seen a visitation order you would know that's exactly what it does. I mean really, who wants to ask permission to see their own child? Why should someone have to? I know there are a lot of parents out there who don't care. Some want to just walk away and be an every other weekend parent. That's great for them. What about the parents that want to be involved? Why does the law make it so hard on them? I feel that in a case when all things are equal, the parents should have shared custody of a child. End of discussion. They need to be put in a situation where they have no choice but to figure out how to get along. The child gets to benefit from having two parents involved, and no one has power to use their child as a weapon.